Take a listen 1ze6i
https://soundcloud.com/-952300047/piano-carnival-of-rust?si=e20988af0b274f47b830264e10b6ee40&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing
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Sisters of Mercy 2e65u
A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It says, 'Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution 15 km'.
He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon, he sees another sign that says, 'Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution 8 km' and realizes that these signs are for real. When he drives past a third sign saying, 'Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution Next Right' his curiosity gets the better of him and he pulls into the drive.
On the far side of the parking lot is a sombre stone building with a small sign next to the door saying, 'Sisters of Mercy'.
He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, 'What may we do for you, my son?'
He answers, 'I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business.'
'Very well, my son. Please follow me.'
He is led through many winding ages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, 'Please knock on this door.'
He does as he is told and this door is answered by another nun in a long habit and holding a tin cup.
This nun instructs, 'Please place $50 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway.'
He gets $50 out of his wallet and places it in the second nun's cup.
He then trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him. As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another small sign.
'Go in Peace. You Have Just Been Screwed by the Sisters of Mercy.'
Just for giggles 6z6n1
Stranded on an island One day a man, who had been stranded on a desert island for over ten years sees an unusual speck on the horizon.
"It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself.
As the speck gets closer and closer he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.
Suddenly, emerging from the surf, comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.
She approaches the stunned guy and says, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years," replies the stunned man.
With that she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?" she asks him.
Trembling the castaway replies, "Ten years."
She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him.
He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says, "WOW, that's absolutely fantastic!"
At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man seductively, and asks, "And how long has it been since you've played around?"
With tears in his eyes, the guy falls to his knees and sobs, "Oh good Lord! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too?"
